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Hello and welcome to the first post on what I hope will one day become a semi-popular, half-decent blog.

What is a “bl… bleh… blog?” I hear you ask? Why, it is a web log, my curious cousin! You see, “Blog” is merely an abbreviation. Fascinating factoid, I know — and welcome to the internet! Try not to step on any cats, LOL.

What does one write about on a blog, you ask? Why, any rootin’-tootin’ gossip I wish to share with the world. You see, I am far too vainglorious to settle for my mere social network of Facebook friends; I need a bigger, bloggier stage to spit on — hence why I went out and got an entire domain just for me.

So, what should I write about on this first post? What do people write about on their first blog post? Maybe if they are fat they write about how they’ve recently realised how fat they are and how they are going to try and lose weight and blog about their ups and downs on their long road to skinnydom.

Perhaps they are a guy who has just taken up cycling and wants to blog about cycling and share his cycling adventures with other unlikeminded cycling psychos, but is secretly only cycling because he wants an excuse to get out of the house and away from that nagging wife and hopes subjecting himself to hours of having a tiny, hard bicycle seat pushing up into his crotch will render him sterile so he doesn’t have to have any kids until one day he realises that all this cycling is just a sad metaphor about how he is stuck in a vicious cycle and his life is going nowhere, so he grabs a revolver and puts the barrel in his mouth and then he shits himself because he remembered he left the hair straightener on and it burnt the bath towel, setting the smoke detector off. Who knows?

Perhaps you have a blog? Maybe you could share what you wrote about on your first blog post. Leave something for us in the comments below.

It is a little past my bedtime right this minute, so I have nothing else to offer, and no one will be reading me anyway.